At the peak of this morning’s rush hour, midway up the crowded platform escalator at the Bethesda metro station, I move from the right side of the steps, where people are standing, and try to merge left into the stream of people who are walking up. I inadvertently bump into someone.
“I’m sorry,” I say. She’s slightly behind me. There’s an awkward moment as we try to figure out who gets the right of way. She says nothing, but gives me an annoyed look. And so does the woman behind her.
I let them pass, and find myself actually kind of angry. I want to follow her, and be like, “Hey, I was talking to you! I said I was sorry. What more do you want?!” But of course, I don’t. Is it just me? Should I not care? I think that’s what makes me so mad: granted she’s probably in a hurry–aren’t we all?–but that she doesn’t even acknowledge my sincere apology. I go on my way in a huff. Furthermore, I forget to add fare to my metro pass before exiting the faregate, and so it doesn’t let me through, thereby holding up more people behind me. Oh, great.
What’s happened to civility? I try to treat people the way I wish to be treated, but some people make it very difficult. Grr.
6 replies on “The long slow death rattle of civility”
Baseball bats and golf clubs, them’s the answer.
Civility is but a long thorny splinter of ash protruding mournfully from the dazed and bleeding cranium of the urban commuter cum punk.
Thus spoke The Pig.
‘Tis a pity, no? Have faith in civility, though, lest ye be not spared when one day I mete out my vengeance upon the uncivil punks of society. Or something like that.
I’m not going to say anything clever, just, are you sure she heard you? and did she know you were talking to her if she heard you?
oh forget all that politeness bullshit. Next time you bump into someone, say “EXCUSE me” as if they’re being a bastard for getting in your way, push past them (knocking them over is an extra 20 points) and don’t look back. Take “what an asshole!” catcalls as proof that you’re a better human being than they are.
-just a brief public transportation lesson from an nyc guy
Crap like that can ruin your whole day. I don’t have an answer, just a deeply sagacious, disappointed shake of the head.
Rajani (26 going on 50) 🙂
P.S. I’ve always liked the passive-aggressive, yet dated and nerdy, “excuse you.” Not that I’ve ever used it…
How timely. I’ve had similar incidents as recently as five minutes ago, and I believe I’ve determined the cause: the sentence “I’m sorry.” is archaic.
Those of us who use the sentence with sincerity are looked upon as if we speak another language because we do speak another language. Charm, decorum and politeness are so “Old World” that those out of the loop don’t even recognize it, except to be annoyed by their lack of understanding and the audacity of the offender to speak a language other than “Gimme”.
Hmmmm. I’m not cynical much.