Here’s some comic relief for your writer’s block. The Stranger‘s Ryan Boudinot offers up “Salmon, Trees, Cancer: A Primer. How To Write a Great Northwest Novel” (link via Arts & Letters Daily). An excerpt:
Tip 1: Salmon
If you’re going to write a novel set in the Northwest, you’re going to have to mention salmon. But don’t make the common mistake of simply referring to salmon as “salmon.” You know the varieties; show off your grasp of local nomenclature! Consider the following opening sentence:
Lance Nakayama was calling his broker to dump his InfoSpace stock when he was almost struck by an airborne Chinook.
See how we were able to pique the reader’s curiosity while displaying our intimacy with regional wildlife? This is the kind of opening sentence that keeps a reader turning pages. A flying what? Where the heck is this taking place? They will want to read on!
See also James Pinkerton’s “How To Write Suspense,” originally written for Modern Humorist; an expanded version appears in The Best American Nonrequired Reading 2003 (ed. Dave Eggers).